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Honestly, I don't want to post anything about my RL anymore since I think I'm kind of babbling or complaining about my life (==") But maybe this one is needed.
Two days ago on 5.50 pm my Oba-chan passed away at hospital. It's just about 2 weeks after my Ni-chan's accident so I hope he won't blame himself about it since Oba-chan kind of ill during the moment my parents and I were taking care of him.
My mother has 3 siblings and she's the youngest one. About 2 years ago Oba-chan lived with my family due of her sickness and it's a bit hard for my uncle to take care of her since both him and his wife are working and my aunty lives at Kedah(kind of near with Perak where my Ni-chan lived) and Oba-chan didn't use to live far from Sabah. Every night if she'll stay with us, I'm the one who will sleep with her. And since Ni-chan and Ne-chan aren't always at home, it can be say I'm the one who always company her. Unfortunately due of her old age, since last year she only remember to speak in her ethnic language which I didn't understand. So I can't hold any conversation with her even I wanted.
Two days ago Oba-chan suddenly felt hard to breath and couldn't say anything. My father who's in meeting at that time immediately came home midway after my mother called him to send Oba-chan to hospital. After we sent her to emergency ward and she'd been examined, the doctor think her lungs were infected since Oba-chan still can't breath normally although he and the nurses managed to recover her blood pressure back. Oba-chan then was attached with oxygen mask before a breathing aid was putted into her throat to make her breath easier.
Yet, nothing changed. My mother already cried at that time when seeing Oba-chan in that state. I wanted to watch what the doctors were doing, but whenever mother saw me, she told me to just wait outside the emergency curtain. I can't see what happen inside, but I still can hear Oba-chan's breath, heartbeat machine's sound and what the nurses and doctor said. Finally, one by one doctors come to see the situation. They're talking with each other about something before one of them came to my parents and I. I still remember he said that Oba-chan's heart actually already stopped 2 times and they gave CPR to her to make it beating back. But considering that she already old, her body size is small and her blood platelet(the cell which makes our blood clot and stop bleeding) is only 9 out of 100, Oba-chan's chance of surviving is really low. Even if they continue to give her CPR, the pressure that they gave on her chest can make her ribcage break. So, the doctor gave us two choices; to let them continue which only will make Oba-chan suffered or let her go which the doctor think is more humanity. It's so dramatic.
On that moment I already break down. It's not that bad until I was sobbing or need someone to calm me down, but when I see Oba-chan's state, I think it's better to let her go. My father also thought the same thing, but my mother wanted to wait until my uncle arrived there first. Around some minutes later another doctor come to remind us that Oba-chan's heart already stop for the third time and according to protocol, they can't give her another CPR anymore. 10 minutes before my uncle arrived, my Oba-chan finally passed away. It's really sad. I can see how him and my mother tried hard to not express their emotion so much. We brought her back to my mother's hometown at the same night to settle her coffin and the rest before brought her to my uncle's house which is also Oba-chan's house. The funeral was held on the next day. Everything were ready at afternoon, but we didn't immediately hold the funeral to wait for my aunty, my first Ni-chan and my cousin came, drove by my second Ni-chan.
My first Ni-chan actually wasn't recover yet and still need to through a surgery but he stubbornly wanted to come and ride train, bus and aeroplane alone. But I must say his decision at least didn't make him regret for couldn't pay last respect to Oba-chan. Though, I think my mother maybe felt disappoint cause I didn't kiss Oba-chan's forehead when we were given a chance to see her face for the last time before went to cemetery. It's not like I don't want, but I'm having problem with death and cold body. I only can stroke her hair and ask for her forgiveness on everything. Thank God, the funeral went well. Me, both my Ni-chan and my cousin returned home last night while my parents and aunty stayed there for one more night.
If you're wondering I'm fine or not, I'm fine. I was shocked, but I can accept it. At least like father said, she's not suffering anymore. And the incident really makes me more positive and grateful for still couldn't further enter my study to anywhere. A lot of things happened from my aunty(on my father's side) lost her baby, my cousin's weeding, my Ni-chan's accident and my Oba-chan's death which requiring someone free to lend a help. I was thinking that IF I already studying in college or university now, no one can help my aunty, mother and father about it even for just small matter. Everything really happen with reason right?
Two days ago on 5.50 pm my Oba-chan passed away at hospital. It's just about 2 weeks after my Ni-chan's accident so I hope he won't blame himself about it since Oba-chan kind of ill during the moment my parents and I were taking care of him.
My mother has 3 siblings and she's the youngest one. About 2 years ago Oba-chan lived with my family due of her sickness and it's a bit hard for my uncle to take care of her since both him and his wife are working and my aunty lives at Kedah(kind of near with Perak where my Ni-chan lived) and Oba-chan didn't use to live far from Sabah. Every night if she'll stay with us, I'm the one who will sleep with her. And since Ni-chan and Ne-chan aren't always at home, it can be say I'm the one who always company her. Unfortunately due of her old age, since last year she only remember to speak in her ethnic language which I didn't understand. So I can't hold any conversation with her even I wanted.
Two days ago Oba-chan suddenly felt hard to breath and couldn't say anything. My father who's in meeting at that time immediately came home midway after my mother called him to send Oba-chan to hospital. After we sent her to emergency ward and she'd been examined, the doctor think her lungs were infected since Oba-chan still can't breath normally although he and the nurses managed to recover her blood pressure back. Oba-chan then was attached with oxygen mask before a breathing aid was putted into her throat to make her breath easier.
Yet, nothing changed. My mother already cried at that time when seeing Oba-chan in that state. I wanted to watch what the doctors were doing, but whenever mother saw me, she told me to just wait outside the emergency curtain. I can't see what happen inside, but I still can hear Oba-chan's breath, heartbeat machine's sound and what the nurses and doctor said. Finally, one by one doctors come to see the situation. They're talking with each other about something before one of them came to my parents and I. I still remember he said that Oba-chan's heart actually already stopped 2 times and they gave CPR to her to make it beating back. But considering that she already old, her body size is small and her blood platelet(the cell which makes our blood clot and stop bleeding) is only 9 out of 100, Oba-chan's chance of surviving is really low. Even if they continue to give her CPR, the pressure that they gave on her chest can make her ribcage break. So, the doctor gave us two choices; to let them continue which only will make Oba-chan suffered or let her go which the doctor think is more humanity. It's so dramatic.
On that moment I already break down. It's not that bad until I was sobbing or need someone to calm me down, but when I see Oba-chan's state, I think it's better to let her go. My father also thought the same thing, but my mother wanted to wait until my uncle arrived there first. Around some minutes later another doctor come to remind us that Oba-chan's heart already stop for the third time and according to protocol, they can't give her another CPR anymore. 10 minutes before my uncle arrived, my Oba-chan finally passed away. It's really sad. I can see how him and my mother tried hard to not express their emotion so much. We brought her back to my mother's hometown at the same night to settle her coffin and the rest before brought her to my uncle's house which is also Oba-chan's house. The funeral was held on the next day. Everything were ready at afternoon, but we didn't immediately hold the funeral to wait for my aunty, my first Ni-chan and my cousin came, drove by my second Ni-chan.
My first Ni-chan actually wasn't recover yet and still need to through a surgery but he stubbornly wanted to come and ride train, bus and aeroplane alone. But I must say his decision at least didn't make him regret for couldn't pay last respect to Oba-chan. Though, I think my mother maybe felt disappoint cause I didn't kiss Oba-chan's forehead when we were given a chance to see her face for the last time before went to cemetery. It's not like I don't want, but I'm having problem with death and cold body. I only can stroke her hair and ask for her forgiveness on everything. Thank God, the funeral went well. Me, both my Ni-chan and my cousin returned home last night while my parents and aunty stayed there for one more night.
If you're wondering I'm fine or not, I'm fine. I was shocked, but I can accept it. At least like father said, she's not suffering anymore. And the incident really makes me more positive and grateful for still couldn't further enter my study to anywhere. A lot of things happened from my aunty(on my father's side) lost her baby, my cousin's weeding, my Ni-chan's accident and my Oba-chan's death which requiring someone free to lend a help. I was thinking that IF I already studying in college or university now, no one can help my aunty, mother and father about it even for just small matter. Everything really happen with reason right?
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