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Title: Fixing My Future with the Broken Pieces of My Past
Genre: Brotherhood, friendship, angst
Rating: G(Include curses and harsh words)
Summary: Having a brilliant and perfect fraternal twins who is 180 degrees different from him forced the 16 years old Miyamoto Kazunari to grow up with a harsh and cold treatment by people around. At first, he had Jun who's the only person that close to him despite of their uncommonness. But after a cold incident occured between them, Kazunari chooses to never put a faith with anyone else anymore.
This story reveal in how a guy who always known as a 'rotten apple in eye' try to rebuild his broken life again.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING, but the PLOT
Chapter 12: Restart
“Is he okay?”
Ogura-sensei worriedly asked the doctor. I meanwhile awkwardly touched the bandage that was covering my forehead.
“Let’s just hope it won’t leave deep scar.”
He nodded, looked a bit relief by the explanation.
“I’ve something to talk with your teacher here. Can you wait outside?”
“Oh, okay.” I immediately stood up and walked toward the door. I took a last glance on them and saw Sensei took the seat in front of the doctor. Hopefully, it was not a serious thing.
As I sat on the waiting bench in the lobby, I leaned tiredly on it. I was actually already told the cop timelessly that I was completely fine back then, but he still looked freaked out and straight away called for the ambulance. Seemed, he was also the one who called the school and informed about what happened.
“Wait for me here, okay? I’ll be back.”
The boy who just sat right beside me nodded at the young lady above him. As the lady walked to the medicine counter, the boy suddenly turned to me. He kept staring at me till I felt so nervous, but at the same time still returned his gaze.
What the hell? Is he trying to hold a staring competition with me?
“How did you get it, Ni-chan?”
“Eh? What?”
“Your wound.”
He questioningly looked at me.
“Ah, this…” I touched my bandaged head with a slight hesitation. “I hit something.”
Phew. It was great that he nodded and believed it.
“What about you? How did you get those bruises and wounds?” I asked him back, tried to hold a conversation between us.
“From my daddy.”
“Your daddy?” I frowned by his answer. But when I saw he nodded again, I finally get it.
This is NOT funny at all. He’s still small and to be beaten like that…how heartless his father is.
“That Ne-chan said, she’s going to bring me to the new home that full with new friends. So, daddy and mommy won’t find and beat me anymore.”
I turned to the lady that he mentioned. She was the one who told him to wait here before.
“How about you, Ni-chan? Where is your daddy and mommy?”
He shot me with another question. For a while, I just kept quite before bit my lower lip and curved with a bitter smile.
“I don’t know.”
“Eh? Why?” The boy immediately slid closer to me. He seemed so interested with me.
“They chased me out because of something that I never did. I haven’t seen them quite a long time already.”
The little boy immediately locked his mouth. He must be thinking about something as I saw he was playing with his fingers.
Then, he suddenly looked up at me again.
“Do you hate them?”
Eh?
“I hate them. They love to spank me a lot. Sometimes, they even didn’t let me eat and hit me with belt.”
I became completely loss of words.
“I feel so jealous with my friend at school. Their daddy and mommy always hold hands with them when send and fetch them from school. Sometimes their daddy and mommy even let them to celebrate their birthday with the class. I wonder how it feels.”
He pouted, but not looked like wanting to cry at all. I don’t know, but somehow I felt that I completely get how his feelings. He must be tired of cry anymore and…so do me.
“How about you Ni-chan? Do you hate your daddy and mommy too?”
He looked at me wonderingly again. For a while, I just stayed silent while returning his gaze. To be ignored by parents, to be alone and to feel helpless…He must be understand how my feelings as I know we are facing a same situation with a different way.
And before I realized it, I already patted his head. The boy meanwhile wrinkled his forehead confusedly.
“I don’t hate them.”
“You don’t?” He asked me with his questioning stare.
“Well…It’s more like I think it’s wrong for me to hate them.”
I sighed and turned to the passing patients in front of us.
“Even though they never care about my feelings, whether I’m sick or not, or what was I through at school today, I still believe it was wrong for me to hate them.”
“But, why?”
“At least…when I still a baby, they took a good care of me. They still let me to see this world although they can choose to abort me instead. That’s why…I think I’m actually fortunate enough, compare to other kids who never even have a chance to have their own life.”
He nodded.
“But of course, it is impossible for me to not hate them too. So, whenever that feeling grows inside me, I will remind myself about what they have done to me when I still small.”
“…Even though they never treat you like their children now?”
I bit my lower lip hardly. It was easy to be said, but actually the feelings were extremely unbearable.
“…Yeah. Even it is so.” And I saw he looked at his hands with an unreadable face.
A few seconds later, the young lady before came and told him that it is time for them to leave. As both of them hold hands and readily to step out from the entrance door, I saw the little boy abruptly stopped. He then suddenly turned to me and waved with a smile.
I had no idea with my mind at that time. Perhaps it was because I understood his feelings or I feel touched with his braveness, I spontaneously returned it back with a smile.
And that was when I accidentally saw the lobby’s clock.
...He's left.
“Kazunari-kun?”
I immediately turned to Sensei.
“Anything is wrong?”
“Huh? Oh, nope. Everything is fine. What was the doctor said?”
“He explained about your injured. Fortunately, it was not so serious, but might leave a scar.”
I nodded. At least, just a scar.
“Come, you must be tired. I will drive you back to the school.”
~*~*~*~
The evening view of the school’s field from the top of the school’s building was so relaxing. Even the breeze was so soothe and comfortable. I then calmly leaned on the fence behind me.
How many months have already passed after I stepped out from home? I’d totally no idea about it anymore.
But the most important thing is Jun must be already on the flight now.
That’s great. When he returned later he must be already forgot about me. And he won’t get hurt by my actions and no need to cover me about anything anymore.
“I’m home.”
However, I heard no reply from inside. It was not like I didn’t know that dad and mom were at work anyway.
After hopping off my shoes, I immediately went to the kitchen and get something to drink. I didn’t care even the house was in a gloomy state as it was already dark outside. Then, I slowly walked to the living room and sat on the couch silently.
All this time I kept wondering why Jun didn’t call me anymore. Not only that, he didn’t even come home frequently like usual and even he was; he will come out again and say that he needs to see someone outside.
But now, I got it. The evening incident was more than enough to tell me everything. I felt so grateful that he finally found his true companies after so long, but…
I then sighed heavily and crouch on the couch.
I know what it feels to be alone.
I know how it feels for wanting even a single friend in my life.
I know how it feels to have someone to always beside me.
But why? Why I felt so hard to accept the fact that Jun already found his best friends? I am his twin and that’s why I knew how he always tried to hide his feelings for having a friend this entire time. Besides, I am older than him even it was for two minutes only. I must be acting more mature, didn’t I?
Selfish. You are so selfish Kazunari. How could you hold a grudge and hateful feelings toward your brother? He’s also a human, just like you. You can’t be like this! Even to think like this!
I immediately stormed into the bathroom and washed my face; hopefully it can refresh my mind back. But when I looked up at the mirror and saw my face, I froze.
Scratch, wounds, plasters. Who was not going to feel scared with me? I obviously look like a thug now.
Then, I felt a droplet of tears flown on my cheek.
“I’m sorry Jun.” I muttered it though I knew he can’t hear me.
Why I was so stupid? Jun had no friend for this entire time was actually my fault. Of course people wouldn’t come closer to him if I always around him. It was a misfortune for him to have a bastard twin like me. It was my fault. It was my entire fault! And now, I’m being so selfish!
I immediately stepped out from the bathroom and walked out from home. That day became the day when I told myself; I’ll do anything to make Jun have his good life after I had destroyed it for this entire time.
It’s…my promise and I will never forget it.
“Ah, you’re here.”
I opened my eyes and saw Ohno approaching me with his worried eyes from the rooftop’s door. As he finally stood close enough to me, he immediately observed the bandage on my head seriously.
“Are you sure you don’t want to make a report about those guys attack?” He looked at me, unsure.
“Yep.” I said as I straightened my body and turned to face the fence. Ohno didn’t say anything. Perhaps he still confused with the reason why I still can act so calm after a horrible thing happened to me.
“Y’ know.” I started the conversation first. “I deserve to get this injured.”
He frowned.
“I shouldn’t feel angry just because people love to compare both of us a lot.”
"Eh?"
“Plus, the reason why I choose to treat him bad is because I want him to have a good life and not be alone like me.”
“‘Him’?”
I nodded.
“Since we were young, I used to be hated by people around me. I always create a trouble at school, involve in fights, beat other kids and even sometimes not listen to the teacher’s advice. But, no matter what, he will always there; support and appreciating me just the way I am.”
Ohno slowly stepped closer to the fence while looking at me curiously.
“When I saw he felt so hesitant to admit that I am his brother, I finally realize. Maybe I didn’t mind if I have no friends at all, but I can’t let him to also have no friends just because he is close to me.”
For a while, silence surrounded us.
“I know that if he stays close to me, he definitely will not get any friends for the rest of his life. People will misunderstand him that he is an evil too, just like me.”
I continued. “That’s why I try to change myself to become brattier and bad*ss so I’ll not let my guard down and at the same time, not to let him make the gap between us become shorter again. I realize that if I still treat him like before, we will get closer again and his newly friends will leave him because of feel terrified with me. I even change my image so anyone will believe that he is a good guy and it just a misfortune for him to have a twin like me.”
Now somehow, I suddenly feel like tons of burdens disappear inside me. I feel better after say it loud and to someone. Jun already has his future in his hand now. Means, I need to let go of him and give a chance for myself too.
“So, what’s your plan now?” Ohno looked at me with his calm face. I just slightly smiled at him before turned to the sunset view and took a deep breath.
“Moving on…and get my life back.”
~*~*~*~
>Comments for supporting and criticism for improvement are ALWAYS love~!
Genre: Brotherhood, friendship, angst
Rating: G(Include curses and harsh words)
Summary: Having a brilliant and perfect fraternal twins who is 180 degrees different from him forced the 16 years old Miyamoto Kazunari to grow up with a harsh and cold treatment by people around. At first, he had Jun who's the only person that close to him despite of their uncommonness. But after a cold incident occured between them, Kazunari chooses to never put a faith with anyone else anymore.
This story reveal in how a guy who always known as a 'rotten apple in eye' try to rebuild his broken life again.
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING, but the PLOT
Chapter 12: Restart
Ogura-sensei worriedly asked the doctor. I meanwhile awkwardly touched the bandage that was covering my forehead.
“Let’s just hope it won’t leave deep scar.”
He nodded, looked a bit relief by the explanation.
“I’ve something to talk with your teacher here. Can you wait outside?”
“Oh, okay.” I immediately stood up and walked toward the door. I took a last glance on them and saw Sensei took the seat in front of the doctor. Hopefully, it was not a serious thing.
As I sat on the waiting bench in the lobby, I leaned tiredly on it. I was actually already told the cop timelessly that I was completely fine back then, but he still looked freaked out and straight away called for the ambulance. Seemed, he was also the one who called the school and informed about what happened.
“Wait for me here, okay? I’ll be back.”
The boy who just sat right beside me nodded at the young lady above him. As the lady walked to the medicine counter, the boy suddenly turned to me. He kept staring at me till I felt so nervous, but at the same time still returned his gaze.
What the hell? Is he trying to hold a staring competition with me?
“How did you get it, Ni-chan?”
“Eh? What?”
“Your wound.”
He questioningly looked at me.
“Ah, this…” I touched my bandaged head with a slight hesitation. “I hit something.”
Phew. It was great that he nodded and believed it.
“What about you? How did you get those bruises and wounds?” I asked him back, tried to hold a conversation between us.
“From my daddy.”
“Your daddy?” I frowned by his answer. But when I saw he nodded again, I finally get it.
This is NOT funny at all. He’s still small and to be beaten like that…how heartless his father is.
“That Ne-chan said, she’s going to bring me to the new home that full with new friends. So, daddy and mommy won’t find and beat me anymore.”
I turned to the lady that he mentioned. She was the one who told him to wait here before.
“How about you, Ni-chan? Where is your daddy and mommy?”
He shot me with another question. For a while, I just kept quite before bit my lower lip and curved with a bitter smile.
“I don’t know.”
“Eh? Why?” The boy immediately slid closer to me. He seemed so interested with me.
“They chased me out because of something that I never did. I haven’t seen them quite a long time already.”
The little boy immediately locked his mouth. He must be thinking about something as I saw he was playing with his fingers.
Then, he suddenly looked up at me again.
“Do you hate them?”
Eh?
“I hate them. They love to spank me a lot. Sometimes, they even didn’t let me eat and hit me with belt.”
I became completely loss of words.
“I feel so jealous with my friend at school. Their daddy and mommy always hold hands with them when send and fetch them from school. Sometimes their daddy and mommy even let them to celebrate their birthday with the class. I wonder how it feels.”
He pouted, but not looked like wanting to cry at all. I don’t know, but somehow I felt that I completely get how his feelings. He must be tired of cry anymore and…so do me.
“How about you Ni-chan? Do you hate your daddy and mommy too?”
He looked at me wonderingly again. For a while, I just stayed silent while returning his gaze. To be ignored by parents, to be alone and to feel helpless…He must be understand how my feelings as I know we are facing a same situation with a different way.
And before I realized it, I already patted his head. The boy meanwhile wrinkled his forehead confusedly.
“I don’t hate them.”
“You don’t?” He asked me with his questioning stare.
“Well…It’s more like I think it’s wrong for me to hate them.”
I sighed and turned to the passing patients in front of us.
“Even though they never care about my feelings, whether I’m sick or not, or what was I through at school today, I still believe it was wrong for me to hate them.”
“But, why?”
“At least…when I still a baby, they took a good care of me. They still let me to see this world although they can choose to abort me instead. That’s why…I think I’m actually fortunate enough, compare to other kids who never even have a chance to have their own life.”
He nodded.
“But of course, it is impossible for me to not hate them too. So, whenever that feeling grows inside me, I will remind myself about what they have done to me when I still small.”
“…Even though they never treat you like their children now?”
I bit my lower lip hardly. It was easy to be said, but actually the feelings were extremely unbearable.
“…Yeah. Even it is so.” And I saw he looked at his hands with an unreadable face.
A few seconds later, the young lady before came and told him that it is time for them to leave. As both of them hold hands and readily to step out from the entrance door, I saw the little boy abruptly stopped. He then suddenly turned to me and waved with a smile.
I had no idea with my mind at that time. Perhaps it was because I understood his feelings or I feel touched with his braveness, I spontaneously returned it back with a smile.
And that was when I accidentally saw the lobby’s clock.
...He's left.
“Kazunari-kun?”
I immediately turned to Sensei.
“Anything is wrong?”
“Huh? Oh, nope. Everything is fine. What was the doctor said?”
“He explained about your injured. Fortunately, it was not so serious, but might leave a scar.”
I nodded. At least, just a scar.
“Come, you must be tired. I will drive you back to the school.”
~*~*~*~
The evening view of the school’s field from the top of the school’s building was so relaxing. Even the breeze was so soothe and comfortable. I then calmly leaned on the fence behind me.
How many months have already passed after I stepped out from home? I’d totally no idea about it anymore.
But the most important thing is Jun must be already on the flight now.
That’s great. When he returned later he must be already forgot about me. And he won’t get hurt by my actions and no need to cover me about anything anymore.
“I’m home.”
However, I heard no reply from inside. It was not like I didn’t know that dad and mom were at work anyway.
After hopping off my shoes, I immediately went to the kitchen and get something to drink. I didn’t care even the house was in a gloomy state as it was already dark outside. Then, I slowly walked to the living room and sat on the couch silently.
All this time I kept wondering why Jun didn’t call me anymore. Not only that, he didn’t even come home frequently like usual and even he was; he will come out again and say that he needs to see someone outside.
But now, I got it. The evening incident was more than enough to tell me everything. I felt so grateful that he finally found his true companies after so long, but…
I then sighed heavily and crouch on the couch.
I know what it feels to be alone.
I know how it feels for wanting even a single friend in my life.
I know how it feels to have someone to always beside me.
But why? Why I felt so hard to accept the fact that Jun already found his best friends? I am his twin and that’s why I knew how he always tried to hide his feelings for having a friend this entire time. Besides, I am older than him even it was for two minutes only. I must be acting more mature, didn’t I?
Selfish. You are so selfish Kazunari. How could you hold a grudge and hateful feelings toward your brother? He’s also a human, just like you. You can’t be like this! Even to think like this!
I immediately stormed into the bathroom and washed my face; hopefully it can refresh my mind back. But when I looked up at the mirror and saw my face, I froze.
Scratch, wounds, plasters. Who was not going to feel scared with me? I obviously look like a thug now.
Then, I felt a droplet of tears flown on my cheek.
“I’m sorry Jun.” I muttered it though I knew he can’t hear me.
Why I was so stupid? Jun had no friend for this entire time was actually my fault. Of course people wouldn’t come closer to him if I always around him. It was a misfortune for him to have a bastard twin like me. It was my fault. It was my entire fault! And now, I’m being so selfish!
I immediately stepped out from the bathroom and walked out from home. That day became the day when I told myself; I’ll do anything to make Jun have his good life after I had destroyed it for this entire time.
It’s…my promise and I will never forget it.
“Ah, you’re here.”
I opened my eyes and saw Ohno approaching me with his worried eyes from the rooftop’s door. As he finally stood close enough to me, he immediately observed the bandage on my head seriously.
“Are you sure you don’t want to make a report about those guys attack?” He looked at me, unsure.
“Yep.” I said as I straightened my body and turned to face the fence. Ohno didn’t say anything. Perhaps he still confused with the reason why I still can act so calm after a horrible thing happened to me.
“Y’ know.” I started the conversation first. “I deserve to get this injured.”
He frowned.
“I shouldn’t feel angry just because people love to compare both of us a lot.”
"Eh?"
“Plus, the reason why I choose to treat him bad is because I want him to have a good life and not be alone like me.”
“‘Him’?”
I nodded.
“Since we were young, I used to be hated by people around me. I always create a trouble at school, involve in fights, beat other kids and even sometimes not listen to the teacher’s advice. But, no matter what, he will always there; support and appreciating me just the way I am.”
Ohno slowly stepped closer to the fence while looking at me curiously.
“When I saw he felt so hesitant to admit that I am his brother, I finally realize. Maybe I didn’t mind if I have no friends at all, but I can’t let him to also have no friends just because he is close to me.”
For a while, silence surrounded us.
“I know that if he stays close to me, he definitely will not get any friends for the rest of his life. People will misunderstand him that he is an evil too, just like me.”
I continued. “That’s why I try to change myself to become brattier and bad*ss so I’ll not let my guard down and at the same time, not to let him make the gap between us become shorter again. I realize that if I still treat him like before, we will get closer again and his newly friends will leave him because of feel terrified with me. I even change my image so anyone will believe that he is a good guy and it just a misfortune for him to have a twin like me.”
Now somehow, I suddenly feel like tons of burdens disappear inside me. I feel better after say it loud and to someone. Jun already has his future in his hand now. Means, I need to let go of him and give a chance for myself too.
“So, what’s your plan now?” Ohno looked at me with his calm face. I just slightly smiled at him before turned to the sunset view and took a deep breath.
“Moving on…and get my life back.”
~*~*~*~
>Comments for supporting and criticism for improvement are ALWAYS love~!
(no subject)
11/12/11 14:07 (UTC)i don't know what to say, i felt that nino is right but wrong...
i hope he will get his life back, now that jun is gone, he won't hold back and be himself again...
tnx for the fic~
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 14:12 (UTC)can't help but cry. that little boy *hugs him too*
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 14:21 (UTC)aww Kazu..u're a very good boy..please moving on, u've lot of people support u're back..^^
thank u for a very nice chapter :)
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 14:40 (UTC)(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 15:37 (UTC)(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 15:54 (UTC)Somehow, his way to helping Jun was not right, but helping him was good. But he sacrified quite a lot, he deserves to be happy now.
Thank you for sharing, I'm enjoying this fic.
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 17:33 (UTC)So that's the reason...?
I think it's right and wrong in the same time...
it just a combination of Jun's flash of selfishness and Kazu's wrong assumption...
Ne~~
Will Kazu and Jun have more interaction...?
I like those two... >,<
Thanks foe sharing^^
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 19:10 (UTC)(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 19:49 (UTC)(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
11/12/11 23:38 (UTC)and it's... to OH-CHAN!!! XDDDDD
yeah, I knew it that Kazu being like that to Jun because of those reasons.. xD
oh God! I love you, Iza-chann~~
thanks and waiting for next~~
(no subject)
Posted by(no subject)
12/12/11 05:18 (UTC)So he did it to protect Jun, I can understand his intention though, and I'm actually glad that he opened up to Ohno :))
Looking forward to the next! (still curious of what Jun's promise) Thanks for the update! (^ ^)
(no subject)
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