I think your condition also occurred to me but I never thought that was a depression.. You know, about not driving a car even you already have a license had incurred to me years back. You see, I got my license after my high school and after that my parents forbids me to drive until when I go to collage at the last semester to my studies, I sneak on driving behind their backs. I didn't just drove around the collage but I also take trips with it. Then after that I told them and now they just let me do it. But the problem didn't stop there.
I have graduated for 2 years now and there is no luck for me to find a job. Do you know why? It is because I stayed with my parents at the village and there is not a lot of opportunity on working here. My place is not really near to the town where I lived and almost all jobs that I signed for inquires at least 2 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE! So for that I told them to let me go to the big cities which is where there is a lot of opportunities for a person like me to keep on surviving but instead they told me NO. They think it is hard for me and that I couldn't bear that. Well, for me that is what life's about right? I know I am pampered since child but I am not really that weak. I love challenges. I know it will be hard but I am up to it. In case you don't know. For my high school I take Pure Science as my major but at collage my dad suddenly makes a decision on making me taking Accountancy. I hate maths! I hate numbers! Since I was little my most weakest subject was Maths. I used to get 0 for it. I don't know how I got pass my Diploma. It was a miracle but with so much of pain. I might get you at some point but it was not only my family keeps me stuck. There are My Grandmoms, My aunt... Mou, it is a lot. I know that this is some kind of rambles and I should think more positive but what saddens me more is when both of my parents told me that they can't trust me at all! It was a let down. It was the only thing that I couldn't recover from like ever!
I took care of my 3 siblings when they gone to do their Hajj. They were boys and it was for a month. I keeps trying hard to juggle with the boys as they don't want to stay at their dorms at school and also my youngest brother who needed my attention because he is still at primary school at that time. I also was busy with my collage as they were just opened for the new semester. It was hectic at that time. Each week I would need to travel back home and sometimes twice a week. My collage isn't that near from where I lived. It took me an hour to just travel from there to my house! But all solved out when my parents come back and they also told me that they thanked me for what I done. I was happy only up to that point but soon after that, they all planned a trip to Sabah without me! I never take any flights so I would love to but they told me that I should focused on my studies and my mom also called me when they were at the top of Mount Kinabalu as I was answering my tests at that time. How I was so frustrated with them. My lecturer asked me 'Why I didn't joins them and I could ask for a week off for that. It is okay with them.' I just told them 'It's okay' But god knows how sad I was inside. They had bought me the tickets but because of they think that I should study more, they just left me with that.
I loved them but sometimes it feels like they treated me as like I was *sigh* I don't know how to explain this. Whenever I got my motivation to do something there is always a restriction to that. There always a NO, Don't do it! You are not suited to it! kinda words. It feels that I could show anything that I am capable of. What a way to push me down under eh? I just hope one day I would succeed but for now I know I wouldn't because until the day they trust and have faith on me, I would always be at the same spot. Not going anywhere. Not forward nor backwards. I am happy when I am with them but some things needs me to decide them myself. Not them. I have a lot of frustrations but it wouldn't be enough to share it here.
Hi..
I have graduated for 2 years now and there is no luck for me to find a job. Do you know why? It is because I stayed with my parents at the village and there is not a lot of opportunity on working here. My place is not really near to the town where I lived and almost all jobs that I signed for inquires at least 2 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE!
So for that I told them to let me go to the big cities which is where there is a lot of opportunities for a person like me to keep on surviving but instead they told me NO. They think it is hard for me and that I couldn't bear that. Well, for me that is what life's about right? I know I am pampered since child but I am not really that weak. I love challenges. I know it will be hard but I am up to it.
In case you don't know. For my high school I take Pure Science as my major but at collage my dad suddenly makes a decision on making me taking Accountancy. I hate maths! I hate numbers! Since I was little my most weakest subject was Maths. I used to get 0 for it. I don't know how I got pass my Diploma. It was a miracle but with so much of pain.
I might get you at some point but it was not only my family keeps me stuck. There are My Grandmoms, My aunt... Mou, it is a lot. I know that this is some kind of rambles and I should think more positive but what saddens me more is when both of my parents told me that they can't trust me at all! It was a let down. It was the only thing that I couldn't recover from like ever!
I took care of my 3 siblings when they gone to do their Hajj. They were boys and it was for a month. I keeps trying hard to juggle with the boys as they don't want to stay at their dorms at school and also my youngest brother who needed my attention because he is still at primary school at that time. I also was busy with my collage as they were just opened for the new semester. It was hectic at that time. Each week I would need to travel back home and sometimes twice a week. My collage isn't that near from where I lived. It took me an hour to just travel from there to my house!
But all solved out when my parents come back and they also told me that they thanked me for what I done. I was happy only up to that point but soon after that, they all planned a trip to Sabah without me! I never take any flights so I would love to but they told me that I should focused on my studies and my mom also called me when they were at the top of Mount Kinabalu as I was answering my tests at that time. How I was so frustrated with them. My lecturer asked me 'Why I didn't joins them and I could ask for a week off for that. It is okay with them.' I just told them 'It's okay' But god knows how sad I was inside. They had bought me the tickets but because of they think that I should study more, they just left me with that.
I loved them but sometimes it feels like they treated me as like I was *sigh* I don't know how to explain this. Whenever I got my motivation to do something there is always a restriction to that. There always a NO, Don't do it! You are not suited to it! kinda words. It feels that I could show anything that I am capable of. What a way to push me down under eh? I just hope one day I would succeed but for now I know I wouldn't because until the day they trust and have faith on me, I would always be at the same spot. Not going anywhere. Not forward nor backwards. I am happy when I am with them but some things needs me to decide them myself. Not them. I have a lot of frustrations but it wouldn't be enough to share it here.